8 common questions
1.) Do I have to undress in a Tantra group?
2.) Will the group process inevitably force me beyond my
own limits?
3.) Do you give or teach tantric massage?
4.) Do participants try out sexual practices in or in
front of the group?
5.) Does sexual union take place in tantra?
6.) Can I use tantra to experience ecstasy?
7.) We're a couple – can we take part in a tantra group
without being bothered by others?
8.) Do you ensure balanced numbers of male and female participants?
1.) Do I have to undress in a Tantra group?
I can't speak for other Tantra teachers, so I don't know if you generally have to undress in a Tantra group. But I can tell you about my groups: it depends on the topic. For example, during the Chakra weekends there aren't any sessions where nudity is required, and in the Primal groups we work clothed more than during “Love and Passion”. However, even in a completely normal Beginners Weekend the crowning final session happens in the nude – it's about sensual bodily contact, skin contact, and this simply wouldn't be the same if attempted through layers of clothing.
Nevertheless, when the mood of the participants clearly indicates that they don't want to get undressed, then I work with other structures and techniques. But please don't think you can take part in my Year Group if you're not prepared to be naked. I work directly, not only symbolically, with sexual energy - with sensual energy.
Let's take a look at this interesting question and the reasons for asking it: it's mostly women who pose this question, but often it's less of a moral question than an indication that they don't find themselves beautiful or presentable enough. So it's really a question of self-worth and not a question of nakedness. The issue is trust and self-trust or self-confidence. There is a fear of having to perform an intimate exercise with a partner we find unpleasant or even repulsive. Experience shows that these fears disappear during the group-building process.
2.) Will the group process inevitably force me beyond my own limits?
I suspect that this question also arises out of a fear of change. Can't it also be rewarding to push oneself over the limits? Isn't that a liberating experience? The question makes it sound like an experience that is always harmful. How can it be possible to initiate new dimensions while remaining within your old boundaries? Again, it's the art of being a group leader to enable all of this to happen in a healing way: imparting new profound experiences, touching on the suppressed, guiding to spiritual dimensions, and rattling the old boundaries' cage. Is it possible to wash without getting wet? A lot of people would like it to be so. Can you become born again without letting something old die?
3 .) Do you give or teach tantric massage?
Oh yes. The more we do this the more we like it, so the more often we do it! We have fun thinking of new details to include. Nonetheless, there's a development happening in the tantra scene that we don't like: the blurring of the boundaries between tantric massage and prostitution. Not everything with a ‘tantra' label is tantra.
4 .) Do participants try out sexual practices in or in front of the group?
That depends on the level! What does “in front of the group” mean anyway? We're not voyeurs. The answer for the advanced groups is yes, ritually. For beginner groups: no. Again, I can askyou a question in response: How do you want to explore new paths, if you don't try them out?
5 .) Does sexual union take place in tantra?
Oh yes, after all, tantra is the cultivation of human nature! There are also esoteric forms of tantra, like Tibetan tantra, where this happens on the mental level. One of the aims of tantra is to reach enlightenment with the help of the art of sexual union. There are many forms of tantra: one example is ‘white tantra' as practiced by Yogi Bhajan, which has its roots in Kundalini Yoga and concentrates on mudras, mantras and yantras. But even in that school, without physical union, tantra is still the quest to unite the polarities.
6 .) Can I use tantra to experience ecstasy?
Yes, when you allow yourself to open up your soul, body and mind. If you keep holding onto your fears then even tantra can't help you. The key is your readiness. Ecstasy is the removal of limits: if you're looking for this with an open heart, then everything can help you, not just tantra.
7 .) We're a couple – can we take part in a tantra group without being bothered by others?
Firstly, that depends on the group leader's spirit and concept; secondly, it depends on your own behaviour. The best option would be a course for couples, that's where you'll be ‘bothered' the least! It's more difficult in a mixed group (singles and couples). If ‘being bothered' by others is a threat to you in your ‘real life', then it'll certainly come to light in the group, just as everything else shows up much more clearly here!
8 .) Do you ensure balanced numbers of male and female participants?
Yes, certainly, when the course topic needs it. But in other groups it's not so important, such as in the Death and Primal courses and the Chakra work. Whenever erotic partner rituals form an important part of the course, then we ensure that every participant has the chance to find a partner of the opposite gender! No-one has to watch or miss out.
